Choosing Hope…..Again!!

‘His Mercies are new every morning’

One of the clear things God has always led me to do is to be transparant. To share my struggles and His consequent interevention and help with others, as a small way of offering hope. It is both a privilige and a challenge to do this! I was really hoping God might let the events in my home last night slide, and I would get away without having to share them….however after praying with a beautiful friend and mentor this morning, I knew God was inviting me to share once again, to risk being seen in all my ‘glorious ruins’, so I could then speak of His hope and His love.

I pray this touches at least one heart!

My day started in exhaustion yesterday after very little sleep, and I headed off to church in a daze. Completely lost in tiredness and watching my boys I accidently hurt someones feelings….making me feel awful. I went on to have a nice day with a friend and her children at my house, then out of the blue while having a common bedtime battle with one of my children I had a meltdown. Shouting and then crying my eyes out in frustration. Just to top it off everyone was there, my mum, my friend, her children and Jon who had just walked in on a ‘break’ from work.

Brilliant, I look and feel like a complete idiot!

One by one everyone left and I sat alone on the sofa feeling completly drained. I couldn’t be bothered to pray, or tidy up or do anything, I zoned out to TV for a bit then went to bed. Another sleepless night followed. As I awoke to this new day, this new week, I felt anything but hopeful, those new mercies didn’t just jump out to me and I didn’t choose them. I started to think I couldn’t cope with anything apart from just getting through my days. I decided I didn’t want to see anybody, help anybody, or make any plans…just hide away and feel sorry for myself!…..then I remembered someone was coming over to pray straight after school run, and it was too late to cancel, looked like my hiding away would have to wait!!

What a blessing!!

That person spoke such hope and truth into my heart, and as we prayed the darkness started to lift and hope and light was peeking through, so I made and choice and grabbed it with both hands. After she left as I sat and pondered the scripture she brought me (Psalm 119:25-32, in The Message, an amazing read if you fancy!) Especially ‘God teach me lessons from living so I can stay the course…’

Sometimes breakthrough doesn’t come easily or quickly. Sometimes children dont sleep for a long time. Sometimes we struggle with hormones, or feeling down for an extended season. Sometimes we make the same mistakes over and over again.

What should we do with that?

I think it comes down to a daily choice. Inviting Jesus in, not shutting him out. Choosing hope and life every day no matter how we feel, or what out circumstances are. Focusing on the good and not the bad. Helping others, clinging to promises and remembering truth.

I’m so glad to be heading into the rest of my week with hope. How are you feeling at the moment? Pause in the busyness and ask yourself. Is there anyone you need to forgive? (including yourself) Is there an area of your life where you have lost hope? Is there something God has been asking to you to do? Or a person you need to speak to, and you have been avoiding it? Or maybe everything is great?…remember to invite Him into that as well!

His mercies are new every morning…today it just took me til lunchtime to remember!

I’m off to grab half an hours sleep now, completly guilt free, before Nate wakes up!

I pray you all have a great week, filled with hope, laughter and purpose

Emma x x