LovingHim-RaisingThem

Sometimes we have to go back to go forward.

I love progress.

I hate going backwards.

I’ve got this niggly shoulder injury, Ive had it for years. Its never bad enough to really stop me doing anything, so I just ignore it and keep hammering on when it hurts. Turns out my body isn’t letting me do that anymore and last week I had to go and see someone about it.

My lovely boss Jenny worked away trying to loosen and relieve tension from my left shoulder. I wanted answers and a solution and I wanted them immediately! I don’t have the time or patience for process with this, I asked her ” Is it tense?, Can you see why it hurts sometimes?” To which she responded “It is so incredibly tense, Im surprised it doesn’t hurt all the time…”

Right OK.  I went into the Pilates studio as a student this morning, as I often do. Jenny kept gently correcting me and showing me the subtle bad habits I have picked up. These habits are small, unnoticeable to most in fact, but they are there slowly but surely damaging my shoulder.

Where my body isn’t strong and stable enough at its deepest level, other muscles switch on take the load they aren’t meant to carry. When I do a full press up or roll up or plank I look like Im doing it correctly but I’m not and over time I’m damaging my body.

So I’m on a slow, corrective, take it easy kind of plan for my shoulder. Even as I type Im annoyed, I hate slowing down! Im going back to basics, I have to retrain my brain and my body to do the work properly, building back up using the right muscles at the right time. Jenny’s correction is a gift to me should I choose to listen to it and do the work.

Sometimes we have to go back to go forward.

When we moved to Dunbar and started a church there was a lot of going back to basics. Stepping back and allowing God to teach us things all the time. As we have worked with other churches and different people, as we have faced our own failings, as we have parented without the support of wider family we have been given great opportunity to learn and grow.

Our everyday life is a fantastic teacher, and close friends and leaders can help us so much if we go to them humbly and allow them into our story. I want to be awake to my life. To my thoughts, words and actions. To take responsibility for my life and allow Jesus to grow me into his image.

The church plant has been an amazing tool for personal growth and mirror to see the truth. But I think being a mum is just as great a teacher. When my little humans run around displaying my less than desirable attitudes or reactions its an amazing opportunity to be corrected.

I’m the kind of person who can be thinking and feeling a hundred different thoughts at any given moment. I wake up and my mind launches straight out the starting blocks. At my core are some deep seated beliefs about myself and God which shape a lot of those thoughts and emotions.

I’m not enough.

God isn’t fair.

I must control and understand everything to be safe.

Fill in the blank………..

So I guess just like you I have a choice, do I keep hammering on and ignoring the brokenness in my life? Or do I slow down and head back into my story for healing and freedom?

Just like my dodgy shoulder shows up every time I exercise, my deepest beliefs show up every time I’m challenged in life. Giving time to go back to basics and allow the Holy Spirit and a trusted few to correct me is my gift.

Do you allow God and a trusted few to correct you?

The truth is I am worth the time and the effort to be whole and so are you.

Happy Monday!

Love Emma