Eyes wide open

On a Tuesday morning I have a 20 minute drive alone to work. The drive takes me along beautiful country roads, around plenty of lovely twists and turns with a mix of woodlands and sweeping vistas over fields and out to the ocean. It’s a time I cherish and use to quiet myself and pray. But I’ve noticed recently it’s turned into more of a time to worry, with a vague awareness of God, and maybe a couple of one line prayers thrown in. Something that once punctuated my week with hope and space has been lost.

This morning I got about 5 minutes into the drive before I finally became conciously aware of my thoughts, without noticing I realised I was grappling with some negative thoughts that weren’t going anywhere good. I’m all for grappling and wrestling with stuff, as long as it’s headed somewhere hopeful, and done in the light of how good God is….these thoughts were not like that.

We all have our battles, and a lot of them begin in the mind, and one of mine is fear. Fear of the future, fear of tragedy, fear of what could be. Fear is a big thing to fight, and I don’t mind admitting that I haven’t been on the winning side recently. Some prayer with friends a couple of weeks ago marked a shift in me and I began to find hope and sense the radiance of God and how much bigger he was than my fear. 

I heard a great quote from Bill Johnson this week. He said we don’t fight fear by engaging with it, but my shifting our focus onto who God is and how good he is. Then His love casts out fear. I factually know this to be true but this week I’ve begun to actually experience this truth, as it’s made it’s way from my head to my heart.

So today 5 minutes into my sacred Tuesday morning drive I make a choice, I don’t engage with my thoughts of fear, I don’t try to pray my way out. Instead I try something new and I surrender. Now I’m a pretty strong willed, determined personality and surrender is not my go to! But today I did and I began to ask God to show me his goodness, and boom sure enough the fear was gone.

In the sunrise, was his faithfulness. In the bird of prey was his majesty, in the old castle was his sovereignty, in the winter trees were his steadfastness, in the ocean was his vastness and in my heart and mind was his peace. I stopped to cry and took this photo of the sunrise. 

We try so hard, and he just wants us to let go and trust him.

He is so good.

This Christmas time my prayer is going to be, open my eyes to see you everywhere and in everything. I invite you to pray it too. He came to earth, born a man, died on a cross on rose again so we could know him.

I pray in all the fun, chaos, wider family and presents that you have eyes wide open to see him in the most wonderful and surprising of places, and that you can celebrate and be full of joy whatever you are facing.

Merry Christmas

Thank you for reading 

Love Emma 

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Pam
    Dec 19, 2017 @ 18:32:28

    Thanks so much for this.
    I’m battling fear at the moment, last week I had to have a bone marrow biopsy, I was terrified and felt like my faith had deserted me. The nurses were amazing and I really believe God gave me an angel in the form of a nurse she was so kind and gentle, the consultant was great too. Once I’d had the sedation I knew nothing more until the procedure was done. The Dr is looking for Myeloma. I get the results on 28/12/17. To say I’m afraid is an understatement, but deep down I know God will walk this road with me whatever it entails. Being still and at peace in the storm is hard but I know it’s what the Lord wants for me. Thank you for your honesty sharing about your journey.
    God Bless you and have a wonderful Christmas and a fabulous New Year doing our Fathers will.
    Love Pam xx

    Reply

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